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This is a page
that we want to share some very funny stuff that is sent to us by
our customers every week from all four corners of the world, and
lets face it in todays Doom and Gloom we sometimes need a little
something to make us smile.
Hope you enjoy
them and please feel free to send us your funnies, but do keep it
nice and clean!! please
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AN IRISH GHOST STORY
This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it
sounds
like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the
road
hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big
storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so
strong he
could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a
car slowly
coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter
and without
thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door... only
to
realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't
on.
The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead
and saw a
curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for
his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of
nowhere
through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed
with terror,
watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or
harmed
him.
Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the
road,
so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to
it. Wet and
out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about
the
horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was
crying... and
wasn't drunk.
Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the
dark
and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out
of breath.
Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one
said to
the other...
'Look Paddy.....there's that feckin' idiot that got in the car
while we
were pushing it!!!!'
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This is serious. Please
BEWARE!
Over the last month I became a victim of a clever 'Eastern
European' scam
while out shopping. Simply dropping into Dunnes Stores for a bit
of
shopping has turned out to be quite traumatic.
Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your
friends.
Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking voluptuous 20-21 year-old girls come
over to
your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot.
They both start cleaning your windscreen,their breasts almost
falling out
of their skimpy T-shirts. When you thank them and offer them a tip,
they'll
say 'No' and instead ask you for a lift to another supermarket
store, in my
case, Tescos in Portlaoise.
You agree and they both get in the backseat. On the way, they
start
undressing, and both get completely naked. Then, when you pull over
to
remonstrate, one of them climbs over into the front seat and
starts
crawling all over your lap, kissing you, touching you intimately,
and
thrusting herself against you, while the other one steals
your wallet!
I had my wallet stolen August 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th,
17th,
20th, 24th, and 29th. Also September 1st, 4th,6th,10th and twice
yesterday.
P.S. Aldi have wallets on sale for €1.99 each but Lidl are
€1.75 and look
better.
A farmer named Seamus had a car accident.
In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning
Seamus.
'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm
fine?' asked the solicitor.
Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had
just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the...'
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted.
'Just Answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the
accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I
was driving down the road....'
The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your
Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene
of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he
was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying
to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him
to simply answer the question.'
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer
and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to
say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.
Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I
had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and
was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer
came through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side.
I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the
other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew
shewas in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the
accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear
Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he
looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and
shot her between the eyes.
Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked
at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'
'Now what the F*** would you say?'
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